What Really Happened ...

First, I’ll buy a book ...

Second, I’ll download movies ...

Third, I’ll be going to this annual camp ...

Fourth, I’ll be continuing my driving lessons ...

Lastly, I planned on losing some weight ...

Wew! A month has already passed by... Summer break is over and tomorrow our classes begin. Remember my blog post about summer plans? Yeah .. those are the list above. You see only two of those actually came true! So.. the third and fourth one did happen. I'm pretty much a bit disappointed with it 'coz it's another proof of how lazy I am. 

I had a GREAT fun at the camp! You see, it's a camp where pastors and elders teach us about God. For most people, it may sound boring, but it's not. I mean, if  they really just know God and desire Him, they'll see everything in a whole new different perspective. Anyways, even before the camp, I really had the desire to recommit my life to Jesus. I just went through the most dry season of my spiritual walk last term. AND SO, I'll do my best to become Christ-like. It's easier said than done though but I trust in God that He'll provide for me the strength and courage to do so. 

The second one that did happen was the driving lessons. IT WAS AWESOME! I mean, the feeling that I can finally drive is just so awesome. At first, it was a bit hard 'cause driving requires focus. You see, I get interested in a lot of things, therefore I also get distracted by a lot of things which makes me a person with a short attention span. Hahaha that's what happens when observing the surroundings become a habit. So, my brother accompanied me to get a non-professional license. Just to be honest, I'm not really happy of how I got it because my dad has some connections and that made the process a lot easier but it a lot dirtier too. I don't wanna talk about it now 'cause a different story. 

All in all, my vacation was somehow productive and fun, though I haven't really done anything related to my studies. I mean, I did planned to practice drawing and digital painting but, sadly, I failed. But hey! everything worked for good. I got to know God more and he took my relationship with Him on a higher level. I'm really excited what more things will happen as the new term starts.

God Bless everyone! 
All glory to GOD!!

School Is Over!!!

Yeaaah!! I can finally rest and do all the stuff I've planned for this summer. There's no pressure, stress and all school-related stuff to worry about.

Because I'll be spending most of my time in front of my laptop, I might as well continue blogging for the sake of improving my English.

Now, I'll be talking about the highlights of my third term at Asia Pacific College.

The Float, and the Speech Choir

Our Last Working Day

For the first half of this term, nothing much happened except for the making of our groups float. This float is for the opening parade of the School of Multimedia Arts Week (SoMA Week). We spent two months planning and working on this float. It's concept is based on the movie called "Treasure Planet". Thus, it's a space pirate ship. This ship of ours was the smallest because we weren't informed that we can go beyond the limit, which is 6x6 feet. Despite that, we kept going and finished what we started. We didn't win but I'm sure that the crowd really liked our performance. It was that EPIC.

Me (with the awkward smile) and Louis

After our midterms, we had the Speech Choir for the finals of our PUBSPE2 class. We weren't able to practice it until after the float thing. I volunteered as one of the leaders and it was a pretty hard job. Honestly, I don't have that much experience with performances, but thankfully, most of my classmate do. So, I assigned those people to a task they're best at. With this, most of our block is working. I didn't really help a lot since I wasn't the one who conceptualize. Everything was from my classmates and I just put together they're ideas and make sure everyone's suggestion gets heard. Another difficulty I faced as the leader was making sure that everyone listens. It was really hard because most of my blockmates are playful and they get distracted easily by the gadgets around them.

During our practices, we had some help from our seniors. They were our critics. If it weren't for their comments and suggestions, we wouldn't have come up with a good performance. So... thank you to Ate Enne, Marvin and Addonie. We really appreciate your help! Also thanks to Louis. He's the one who conceptualize most parts of the performance.

In the end, we were the 2nd runner up (3rd place) in the competition.

Even if this kind of activities are stressful, I did enjoy it. I got to know more my blockmates and their strengths and weaknesses. We had a lot of bonding time and fun times during the practice.

I'm really glad to be a part of ABMA123
\m/

18 - Summer Stuffs

My plans for the summer

Ice cream, beach, sun, and more ice cream!!!

Hey! It’s already summer here in the Philippines. Teenagers like me should be having fun, going to the province, or swimming by now, but here I am, doing my projects and home works. Classes are on-going. Professors are still waiting for our project for finals.

One word.

Boring,

I bet this is going to be my shortest vacation ever. By the time this term ended, I’ll have a month left to enjoy the summer, so I already planned what to do with it.

First, I’ll buy a book about ‘How to learn Spanish’. I’ve always wanted to learn a foreign language aside from English, that is. Besides, Spanish is a pretty cool language. It is much easier to learn than French. I just hope I can study it myself. I really can’t afford to enroll.

Second, I’ll download movies to watch. These past months, I haven’t updated myself on what are the latest movies. And probably, I’d watch some Korean or Japanese series. I really miss the days when I can just relax and not worry on failing.

Third, I’ll be going to this annual camp with my siblings. I’m really excited to go. It’s the only place where I can forget all the hassle in a city life. Plus, I’ll meet new friends. It’s going to be a four day camp, so I’ll be away from my parent for almost a week. Yey!

Fourth, I’ll be continuing my driving lessons with my dad or my brother. I can’t wait for it! Though, I bet, I’ll be really nervous and I’ll probably panic on the road. My dad is really strict about driving because he, himself, has been a driver half of his life. I’m a bit scared to make a mistake while he’s teaching me. God help me.

Lastly, I planned on losing some weight. Being a multimedia artist, I spend most of my time sitting and doing something on my laptop. Doing so, I probably gained some weight by now. I really don’t want to be bigger than I am now. Buying clothes would be more difficult and I don’t want that to happen.

So, that’s what I’m going to do with my summer. It’s not really that great ‘cause I’ll be staying at home. I’ll just lie around and maybe do some cleaning too. Well, I really can’t do anything else. I’m still a student and I don’t have money, but I still hope to have a fun summer.

17 - Benefits from my Hobby

"What is your hobby? Why do you like it?"

Hobbies are something we do whenever we find ourselves idle. It can also be something that we do when we want to get our minds off of things that are making us stressed. Maybe, it’s also what we do when we just had a gloomy day.  So, whenever I am idle, stressed, or feeling gloomy, I’d lock myself in one of our bedrooms and play games in my PSP.

I’m not really sure if playing counts as a hobby, but still it’s one of the things I do in my spare time. Playing games never fail to make me entertained during boring times at home and even at school. Also, I do it to relieve stress. Instead of punching stuffs, I’ll just play Tekken or Naruto, and I would take it out on whoever my opponent is.  It’s pretty violent, but it doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s just my PSP.

One more thing, playing games does wonders to decision-making skills. At least, that’s what my guy classmates during high school said so. Well, everyday people make a lot of on-the-spot decisions and that goes the same with games. It’s possible that playing games really helps me, and maybe that’s one reason I like this hobby.

Playing games is not that bad at all. It doesn't really affect my studies very much. Plus, it kind of became my little escape from this stressful life. 

16 - A Non-fiction Narrative Essay

The Risk Worth Taking

Having a lot of friends is not my cup of coffee, nor is socializing with people. I was your resident introvert girl, the girl who was afraid of talking to people because people are difficult to understand and they seem scary. For me, getting attached to people is a risk I wouldn't take.  This has changed when I got to high school, the place where I started to understand what the quote “No man is an island” meant. Having friends, getting to know them and making memories with them is a risk worth taking.

Back to my high school days, during my freshman years, I never thought that helping my classmates in their assignment would make me win a friend. Her name is Vera. She was an inch taller than me and she has a fair white skin. When we sit side by side, I look like the coffee and she was the milk.  We became good friends. She made me listen to the music and songs she likes, which I also have taken a liking to. Unknowingly, as the months passed by, we became the best of friends.

On our second year, we've been placed in different sections. Different time schedules got in the way. Thus, we spent lunch times with a different set of friends. This experience was new, being away from Vera was pretty hard for me. I thought our friendship had sunk, but thanks to Facebook, we managed to keep in touch.

For the third year, distance didn't keep us away from being closer than we were. Nature tested this when Vera transferred to a different school. I told myself to be strong; because this was the time she needed me the most. I spared some time and spend the weekends at her house. Doing so, I got to know her well and our friendship has gotten stronger.

Our fourth year was the worst. It seemed that nature was bent on keeping us apart. On the 18th of July 2012, Vera’s family had to fly to Canada. I skipped school on that day, just so I can be with her till her last seconds in the Philippines. Nature was really against our friendship. I wasn't able to go with her to the airport. I missed that last chance to spend time with her. It was heartbreaking and nerve-wrecking. I cried the whole afternoon and the nights after.

Now, it’s not only distance but also different time zones are in between of our friendship. We send birthday gifts and holiday greetings over the internet, but there were times when finding time to chat is difficult. Despite this, it doesn't change the fact that she is my best friend and she will always be.

From this experience, I learned to trust people, and that having a friend like her is worth taking the risk for. Being attached to people is not that bad after all. Sure, I was hurt in the way but it’s just made me stronger than I was. It made me believe that ‘No man is an island’.

15 - Forever Scarred

"Describe an unforgettable experience."

Scarred. Yes, that's me. I've been scarred and it might stay as it is forever.

Probably, you're thinking that this is gonna be one of those emo kids' stories. Stories where they ramble about their sorry lives and where they rant all the problems they're going through. Guess what? It's not. 

By scar, I literally meant the mark left on the skin after a wound. Yes, those kind of scar. You see, I was a clumsy kid during my childhood, as a result, I've a couple scars here and there. Some are memorable and there's some I don't even remember when and where I've gotten them. So here are my stories behind some of my scars.

What my first scar looks like

The first one is small circle, located just under my left knee. It is a bit tinier than a five cents. It has been there ever since I was born and it is a mark that symbolizes gifts and many talents.... Or so I thought. (*insert humor there). I was kidding! My mom and grandma says that I got the scar a 'pigsa' or a boil in english. The story wasn't cool but still the scar is. Not everyone can have an almost perfect circle scar right?

Another scar is located behind my right leg. It's about three and a half long gash. I'm not really proud of this scar (But hey! who would be proud of a scar?), because it reminds me of how clumsy I was during elementary. It happened when I was cleaning the blackboard. I stood in a chair to clean up the parts of the blackboard that I can't reach. And when I was done, I jumped down. I didn't remember that the chair was broken and has sharp edges, and so, it scraped my right leg. And that's how I got my not-so-cool scar.

There are still some scars I didn't write about. It's probably I can't remember how I got it or I don't really have an idea as to how I got it. Even so, I think that my scars are reminders of some of my most unforgettable events in the past. That in the past, I somehow did something wrong. This little things reminds of what I should not do anymore.

14 - Harmless Wishes

"If you had three wishes, what would they be?"

Trillions of money, a house, and an endless source of food, that’s what most people, would wish for. Or maybe, they'll wish for world peace, love and maybe more wishes. I, myself, would also wish for these things too. Life can be much easier. But, if I’ll get the chance to have three wishes from a genie, I wouldn’t be that selfish to wish these things for myself. Instead, I’ll wish for things an idealist would wish for, things that will be helpful and beneficial to the whole world. 

First, I’ll wish for the ozone layer to be repaired. If that will happen then maybe it’ll be less hot in the Philippines and in other countries too. Plus, global warming can be prevented too. Scientist would stop worrying because there will be no meltdown happening again in the Arctic region.  Yes, I know that this wish might ­be pretty useless since the world is still polluted and people won’t stop polluting it. But, this will be avoided by my second wish.

 To make all chemicals and elements recyclable and environment-friendly is my second wish. It’ll be awesome if plastic is not harmful and can be disposed of easily, and if chlorofluorocarbon is not poisonous and humans can breathe it like how they do with oxygen. Also, smoke from cars wouldn’t be bad for our health. Yes, at this point, I have turned our world into a fantasy land.

Lastly, I’ll wish that every person isn’t messed up as they are now, and that includes me. I’d wish that they’ll learn to love and accept others, that they’ll be able to learn how to forgive, and that they’ll be kind.  Then, maybe people would be less messed up and they’ll be fewer murders, and other crimes in the television and newspaper.

I don’t know what kind of world my wishes would turn out. But hey, this is why dreaming is free right?

13 - Meeting the Renaissance Man

"Who is the person from history that you would most like to meet and talk to?

Why? What would you like to ask?"

If I could go back in time and be in another place, I'd probably go to the Renaissance period and be in Europe. This is the time when countries started exploring the sea. The time where a lot of discoveries are made in different fields and areas like science and arts. But, the reason I'd really like to go to this period is because of a certain man named Leonardo da Vinci

As an artist myself, it would really be an honor to meet and talk to one of the Renaissance Men, da Vinci. It will be cool to see him as he work on his famous Mona Lisa or The Last Supper. Also, I might get my hands on his famous notebook and take a look at it. That would be really awesome!

If I could talk to him, I'd ask him a lot of things, but it'll be mostly about his paintings and the conspiracies created about them. It's really interesting as to what da Vinci would say if he hears that people of my generation are speculating that his works are related to aliens. Also, I really want to know why Mona Lisa, his painting, is so famous. Maybe, there's really a deep meaning into it. It's really hard not to think that there isn't, because you'll never know the train of thoughts of someone like him, who's a genius, as well as a person with many talents.

Also, I'd like to find out how da Vinci learned so much stuff throughout his life. Nowadays, not everyone has the time to learn things, probably, because there's a lot of things that's makes one busy in our generation. I would be a dream come true to experience what life was like during the age of discoveries.

To meet da Vinci, is a dream come true. Who wouldn't want to meet the mysterious man of many talents?

12 - Irky Feelings

"Did you ever hide a real feeling or emotion? When? Why?"

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky.” 

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Stepping into Freedom: Rules of Monastic Practice for Novices

Feelings. They are those nasty little bugs that often come and go only to screw with your heart. They are the pest that invades your mind and seize every part of your thoughts. Feelings are facts without evidences as proof. It's confusing. It gives doubt. It makes everyone crazy at some point. For me, feelings are uncontrollable, but it needs to be restrained sometimes. 

What feelings look like

I may not say it but I do have someone I admire too (or crushes as they put it). It's just that I don't show it because I'm really afraid that admitting it will make that feeling truer than it already is. In my whole life, I've only admitted once to my friends, and it turned out badly. They began teasing me and they started giving hints to that person. Because of that, I stopped admiring the guy.

I don't want to specifically state a time when, but one thing for sure, I have hidden that real feeling because I'd rather feel it for a long time and make it last. Also, I don't want to complicate things by admitting it. For sure, a day will come that it'll fade away too. I think, it's better to be kept as a secret. 

11 - College is Unforgettable

"Describe an unforgettable experience."

Everyone has this special moment. Moments which makes one wish to record and play it over and over again. Those are the precious moments that we treasure every day and will remember until the days we get older. It might be good or bad but we call these moments and experiences the unforgettable ones.

As for me, my most unforgettable experience is being a college student. Specifically, studying at Asia Pacific College and being a part of ABMA123. You see, I originally planned to enroll as an Electronics Engineering Student but because I really love art, I changed my course to Multimedia Arts just before I enrolled. Until now, I never regretted doing so.

I met a lot of great people who share the same interests as mine. These people are my blockmates and professors who have taught me a lot and helped me improve my skills and talents. For me, they are all my mentors while I go through the process of becoming an artist. Because of them, I fell more in love with art.

Right now, my first year at college is coming to an end. I don't know what to expect in the next three years but I do hope that I'll enjoy the days, weeks and months to come as a Multimedia Arts student.

10 - Dear Me, Have You Changed?

"Write a letter to yourself to be sealed now and opened and read by you in ten years.

What would you like to have yourself remember?"

Isn't it great to write a letter to your future self? It's kind of interesting because somehow you'll know the changes in yourself from the time you wrote that letter to the time you read it in the future. I mean, you can at least know how you think during those years you wrote that letter. 

So, I am writing this letter to you, my future self, because I really want to remind you how I am doing today, 19th of February 2013. So listen carefully to your silly old self.

Dear Future Me,

Tonight, I got home at around 10pm. Why you ask? Well, you waited for your parents who were at a party to pick you up. You waited for two agonizing and sleepy hours just so you can keep the money that's supposed to be for your transportation. Yes, you were that thrifty. I wonder if you're still like that.

Have you changed a lot? I mean, do you still not like wearing cute girly clothes? I hope you started liking them because a lot people today misunderstood you for being too boyish. Most of  the time, you dressed up with only a shirt and a jeans which is actually how most guys dress themselves. You don't even have that much sandals or shoes. It's just your slippers, rubber shoes and high heels which are only for school. Though, right now I'm trying hard to start that change and I hope that you, my future self, has been the result of that.

Right now, you're still a very shy and introvert person. Please, if you're still like this, you must try to speak out and approach people. They're really friendly and they won't bite you. You really have to experience to get to know people. Currently, you're fine around girls but you don't have any idea how to talk to guys. What I meant is you never even have a guy best friend because you never let yourself be open to them. Maybe you've already discovered that not every guy is the same like those you've experienced in the past. I sure hope you do. 

Anyway, have you become successful in your career? I hope that you've become the artist that you dreamed of. Well, I wanted you to have your own business and support yourself and family. If possible, I also want you to go around the world, take a lot of pictures and make  a lot of memories. If you really did become successful, remember our dream to build an orphanage? I hope you'll make it come true.

For the last part, please become the woman you dream of. One that loves God and is willing to be used by Him to become a blessing not only to people but also to the whole world.

I know, this is short, but I'll probably write to you again. Just remember to be always strong and never be afraid to ask for help when the time comes. Knowing you, you'll probably keep everything inside because you're too much concerned on carrying the burdens alone.

Your 17 year old self,

Mich

9 - Poem

I am the second child

And you are the youngest

You grew up with mom

While I grew up with grandma

You were raised in a peaceful place called Cavite

While I was brought up in the chaotic Manila

I got a year older and I finally met mom and you,

It was then that we grew up together

It was then, that I noticed something wasn't right

Mom spent more time with you

And her time for me was limited

I understood that because you're the youngest

And I am the middle child

As we became kids, its still the same

You're much closer to mom than I could ever be

You got mom on your side while I got nothing but myself

Maybe that's why I became the independent person that everyone can see

You see, this is the very reason why I'm envious of you

Its the root of this jealousy that's suffocating me

I was ready to resent you, Prepared to grow up hating you

But then, things had changed

Little by little, you grew on me

You taught me what being selfless is really is

You made me care on things I used to dismiss

And then, you finally made a friend out of me

You told me things like your crushes and dreams

You opened up to me, and I started to do the same

One time, you ran to me

You were crying because you can't handle it all

I should've hugged you, right then and there

But all I could be was a shoulder you leaned on

Forgive for not showing enough love

Forgive me for being mean at times

I am sorry, sorry that I wasn't the best sister you deserved

Right now, I still have a lot of studying to do

About how to be a sister and a friend to you

So just sit back and relax

And wait for me to change

To be the best sister,

You could ever have in this world

8 - Escaping Reality

"If you could do something that you've never done before,

What would it be? Why would you want to do it?"

An island I'd like to escape to

It has always been my dream to get out of reality and never worry about it. It'll be fantastic because I'll be able to get away from the hustle and busyness of life in our current generation. So, if I could do something I've never done before, it'll be to ride a boat, get away from the big city and trap myself in a tropical island. 

Why I want to do that? Because I want to just think of the present and not bother by what tomorrow will bring. Being on an island will force me to do just that. You see, all I have to worry is how to survive and get through the day. I'll only think of what to eat, where to sleep, and how to keep myself alive. There will be no pressures from other people and other stuffs like school. 

Another thing is I don't have to keep up with the world. Gadgets and technology wouldn't matter. I don't have to know about  the latest news and watch the latest episodes of a well-known show. It'll be perfectly alright for me to not care about the world if I'm trapped on an island.

Though, I know that surviving is really hard. One must have the skills and knowledge in order to live at least a day. I mean, you have to know a lot of things about the forest and the plants in it too. There's also the danger of dying of heat stroke or freezing at night and being killed by a wild animal. Everything is complicated because you have to do a lot of tedious work and manual labor..

In the end, risks and dangers are always there in an adventure. It wouldn't be fun if everything is safe and comfy. Right? 

 And this is the kind of adventure and escape from reality I'd like to do but never done before. 

7 - I Know, I'm Careless. I Get It.

"Nothing can be worse than.... feel rejection"

Normally, I would write this kind of things in my journal, but since I locked myself up in this room, it might as well be a good topic for this blog of mine....

Have you ever done something you're afraid to do but you have to do it because it is right? Tried to be honest about something but you still know that they would take really it bad? I did, and I want to shout that it really hurts! It's painful! It's really painful coming out clean and be yelled at like it was the worst thing I've done despite all the hard works I've been through to please them. I feel rejected by my own mom. And you know, it's really funny how the person you love the most can hurt you the most.

Today, I just got scolded by my mom for losing my painting materials. Those painting materials cost a lot and I'm really sorry for it. I know that just saying sorry is not enough because it was my mom's money and all. I deserved that scold but I didn't think it would hurt that much. You see, I just want to be honest so I told her about it. And then, she started telling me how 'burara' I am. She goes on and on about the other thing that I lost and how she wasn't like that when she was at my age. That's what I don't like about my mom.

She can't see that I too hate myself for being too careless and too forgetful that I lost all my painting stuffs. She doesn't even want to hear my explanation. I understand where she's coming from but can't she understand that sometimes, I too want to be understood. That I needed her support at that moment, because I don't know where to get it from other than her.

Nothing can really be worse than feel rejection from your own parents. I'm sorry but I can't promise that I won't lose anything else in the future. Though, I'll try to value more my things.

6 - I am Me and Nothing More

"Have you ever depended yourself from an accusation by another person?"

Being accused of something I did not do or something I'm not, is very offensive. It's like being judged wrongfully. It makes me think of why did they accuse me or what are their bases of their accusations. Then, I'll isolate myself and reflect on my past behavior. I always end up doubting myself to the point that it affects my self-esteem. Yes, I ponder a lot with trivial comments about myself or about what I did.

The other day, a friend of mine told me that I must be a lesbian because I like playing games meant for guys. I ignored it but deep inside, I was really hurt. This friend was judging me as someone I'm not. For him, it might be just a harmless joke but for me, it's not. I was just being myself. Does playing video games for guys makes me a lesbian? Or if I don't wear too girly clothes makes me one? Or the way I act makes me one too? Then I ended up with a question, "Should I change myself so that they won't take me as a lesbian?". They don't know even know the reasons why I act too boyish. I wish they'll try to understand before saying hurtful things.

I was really sad. That little comment made me think of a lot of negative thoughts. I don't like it because my pessimistic side will take over. Why do humans throw out words to others and not realize that they're hurting them? Just because everyone has the right of freedom of speech doesn't mean everyone has the right to say what they think of of a person.

I wasn't able to defend myself. I just kept silent because I don't like argumentations or confrontations. I told myself that I should stop dwelling on it and let it go because it's not worth it. It was just another moment in life. Another moment for God to make me realize that I have to defend myself the next time. That the next time, I have to speak out.

5 - Helpless and Hunted to Death

"Write about a terrifying nightmare."

Photo from DeviantArt

It’s wonderful how anything can happen in a dream. Not being able to control it gives us surprises and makes it far more interesting. However, not every dream is a pleasant surprise. There are unpleasant ones too. And most of the time, the unpleasant dreams are the most unforgettable. Maybe that’s why we have a separate term for it. We call it ‘Nightmares’.

I had this crazy and weird nightmare; and it scared the hell out of me.

It went like this…

I was in a room, and everything was in the shade between black and white. It was like an old movie. No colors, no life. It’s just black, gray, and white. The room was rectangular which was like those of a small trailer camping trucks. There are a kitchen and a living room; and between them was the main door.  A few steps away from the door is where I stood.

Rough sketch of the Room

As I looked around, I noticed that I wasn’t alone. There’s a woman who seems to be cooking something in the kitchen.  I tried to talk to her but she ignored me. I kept trying and I stopped when I saw a figure of a person through the window. It was a man and that man was staring at the woman. Looking closely, I noticed that he has this scary smirk on his face. He was wearing a black sweat pants and a dark gray sweatshirt which makes him really creepy.

The atmosphere became heavy as he started to walk to our way. In his right hand was a kitchen knife. He was swinging it casually! He kept his gaze to the woman as he got closer to the main door. The air became heavier than it was.

“He’s going to kill her!” a voice shouted in my head

Immense panic hit me. I started shouting warnings to the woman. I screamed my lungs out until it hurts but she ignored me.

I froze on my spot when  the door opened. The creepy man passed through as he went straight to the kitchen. He literally passed through me!

Then, everything happened so fast. It was too late for the woman to notice the presence of this guy.

He stabbed her to death and I was helpless. I couldn’t do anything to prevent him from killing her. I just stared at her body. My legs shook as blood gushed out under her body.  Surprisingly, it was red when it should like everything else. 

Blood on the Floor

I looked up to the killer and I saw his gaze moved from the body to mine. It was as if I was the next victim. Then, my surroundings changed but it was still in blacks and whites. The killer was also there. I followed his gaze to my left. I realized that person would be his next victim. And again, I couldn’t do anything.

It happened two more times but the last one was different. I was his target.  I'm no longer a spectator. He was going to kill me. Luckily, before he stabbed me to death, I woke up. It really felt great to know that it was just a nightmare.

Until now, I still kept on thinking about it and I realized that it was a lot like Final Destination, a movie. The characters are being followed by death and only the main character knows who’s going to die next. But again, it was just a dream. A dream that made sleeping interesting and full of surprises. Nothing more, nothing less.

4 - How I Showed My Gratitude

"The Surprise"

There are two types of person in this world. The one who gets a surprise and the one who made the surprise. I am mostly the latter. Making surprises are something I'd always love to do for the persons I care about. There's no benefit from it. Just seeing that person, the one who gets the surprise, happy is enough of a gain. The important thing is to make a person happy and make them feel loved. 

I don't consider myself as a friendly person. If I was, I would constantly greet and talk to persons even if I'm not familiar with them and I might also be able to have a lot of groups of friends. Sadly, that's not how I am. That's not how I socialize. Making friends was really hard for me, and that's why I'm thankful for my 'circle of friends' during high school. They befriended me even if I looked snobbish. I'm really glad because they made me feel that I belong, that I am special in some way. So, how was this connected to surprises? 

My Seatmate, My Bestfriend and I

A lot happened in my fourth year of high school. My best friend migrated to Canada and my seatmate, who is my closest friend in the class, was going to migrate to. The sudden move to Canada of my best friend made me realize that I haven't shown them enough of how much I cared for them. I regretted it, and that's why I gave them a special birthday gift in that year. I made a video dedicated to the both of them. It was a really hard work. I had to talk to some of their friends which I, myself, am not close to. Thankfully, some of my classmates agreed to help me out, and they even let me borrow another digital camera which really makes recording a lot faster. I even had to lie to my seat mate. When she found that I was hiding something from her, she ignored me for a whole month.

I wasn't able to have a video chat with my best friend while she watched the video but she told me that she cried. I didn't know what my seatmate's reaction was from my gift for her but I think she really appreciated it. In the end, all the hard work and staying awake until two in the morning payed off. Seeing them happy was worth it.

3 - Let Go

"I know better now."

Life is a road trip. Our life is the car, and the places we've been through are our experiences. That's how one of my favorite authors, who is also a youth pastor, put it. It's up to us to decide whether we will let our Creator drive it or ourselves. And most of the times, it is us who drives it. It makes sense, because humans naturally want to be always in control, but are we? 

No we're not. If we were, I'm definitely sure that everyone would be living happily and be in a complete bliss. Life doesn't work like this. Just like any road trips, there will always be an unexpected event. There will be bad weathers that we have to drive through, potholes that we need to avoid, broken parts that we have to fix and an empty gas tank that we have to fill. These obstacles represent our troubles and fears in life. As for my own road trip, I'm happy to say that mine is just like everyone else's. I've been hurt, depressed and felt rejected. That's why after such things, I couldn't help being a control-freak.

There would always be a process of deep thinking before I make a decision. I don't dare take chances and risks. I'm too afraid to get hurt and pay for the price, but I realized that even if I calculate and plan things, not everything will work the way I want them to. Life couldn't be just fair. Every decision has its consequences. To be hurt and to be in pain is inevitable. In fact, everyone is somehow hurting in some ways different from another. The Bible even says that being hurt is normal. That expressing our pain is all right, but it's up to us if we want to continue dwelling on that pain and hurt; or to stand up and learn from it. These kinds of obstacles are what makes road trips or long drives a lot more interesting. I think life would be dull without this. 

Now, I know better than to be always in control because we don't have to be. There is Someone who knows where we'll be going and is definitely good at driving. He'll lead us to what is best for us. There might be good and bad experiences along the way, but these are what will make us stronger. So, let go of the control. Let go all the worries. A life that's full of uncertainties is a life worth enjoying.

2 - What Really Matters?

“What are the factors which are related to academic success in high school students?”

They say that education is the most important gift our parents can give to us. Without a doubt, it is. It can be the deciding point of whether or not we will achieve a rewarding and happy life. You will not be able to get a proper high-paying job without a college degree. Before you get accepted to your dream college or university, you will have to graduate from high school with passing grades.

 I too went to high school and I know exactly how hard it is compared to elementary. High school is the point where a student must learn to be independent.  This is the time where your parents can’t tutor you anymore nor can they hire someone else to do it. This is also the time where you yourselves are held responsible for every action and decisions that you will make. Despite all this, we, students, are still expected to be successful in our academic studies. So, what are the factors that affects a high school student’s academic success? For me, the most important factors are Family, Environment and Self-Discipline.

Our families, especially the parents, are the main people who affect our performance as a student. They are the ones who support and send us to school. But not every parent has the capabilities to do so. Financial problem is the most common reason for this. Some students have to depend on scholarships in order to get into a good school while others have to put up with public schools. Because of the lack of money, the students' capabilities are being hindered. Thus, limiting them to excel. There are also those  who have to deal with family problems. Not everyone is lucky or blessed to have a complete family. Some grew up with a single parent and some grew up with no parents at all. Others grew up with an abusive parent. These greatly affect a student emotionally and psychologically.  Too much of this burden may lead to a rebellious child and might result to dropping out of school. Without proper guidance from parents and family, a child may not be able to perform well and achieve success at school.

Environment also plays a big part in a student's success. Every person has a different style of studying. Some can study in a quiet place while others are all right with a noisy place. A student’s own preference helps him or her to focus more. Friends and classmate are also a part of the environment. Being with friends who has a lot of vices will never encourage you to do better at school. That’s why we always have to choose who we surround ourselves with. A right environment and good influences can boost a student’s performance.

The last factor which is self-discipline is the most important of all.  If a student does not desire an excellent performance, then he or she will probably be satisfied with a barely passing grade. A student with self-discipline will definitely achieve success. This kind of student does his or her assignment and projects before hanging out with their friends. They know their priorities well and they act according to it. Even if a student receives a proper support from  his or her families and has the right environment, he or she will not be successful without self-discipline.

Of course, some  might say, “ What if I’m just plain stupid?”. I think nobody is born stupid. If you really want to excel, then you’ll have to study a lot. You don’t have to be intelligent to success. A little bit of effort and hard work is enough. Our choice to be successful is always in our hands.  

In conclusion, a student’s success can be affected by a lot of factors. These factors are just some steps in achieving academic success. In the end, what really matters is his or her desire. The desire to study and to succeed. Studying without your heart in it will not make you successful. It’s not just some game where grades are scores that will determine if we succeed or not. 

1 - Curiosity Got the Best of Me

Picture from http://www.womenshealthmag.com

"A thoughtless act"

When I was a seven, I tried to smoke.

I remember collecting used stick of cigarettes. Then I gathered all the tobacco left inside each stick and I chose the most decent looking filter. I placed it side by side in a small piece of paper and used a tape to hold them all together. Using my uncle's lighter, I lit it up and tried to smoke. It didn't go very well. I ended up coughing a lot of times before I decided to stop. Then, I told myself that that will be the last time.

I grew up with an uncle who always smoke. I wanted to know why he kept doing it. I wondered if smoking does something good to his body because he just wouldn't stop. I wondered if people felt better after smoking. I had a lot of questions about smoking that eventually led me to trying it for myself. Though, part of it was that I was pretending to be a scientist. I guess, curiosity got the best of me.

The experience wasn't good but it taught me 'No Smoking' for life. I'm glad that I didn't like it. If I did, I might be one of those people hanging out in parking lots or smoking areas who kills themselves slowly with sticks of cigarettes. But up until now, I still wonder why smokers continue to do it knowing that it's really bad for their health. Maybe I'll understand someday.

Introduction to a creature called ME

Hello everyone! Welcome to my first blog ever!

Before anything else, let me introduce myself. I am Michelle Rose S. Suniga. I'm taking Multimedia Arts at Asia Pacific College. At first, I planned to take engineering. Thankfully, I did not because because I really love art. I think its great to study something you love to do and make it your career.

For the past 17 years of my life, I've been living in the Philippines. My parents are both Filipino which makes me one. As most Filipinos are deemed to be religious, I am not. I don't believe in religion but I believe in the Bible and that I am saved by what Jesus did on the cross. Don't worry. I'm not one of those who forces their beliefs to other people. I don't like arguing with other's beliefs but I'm fine exchanging my opinions with theirs

Anyway, the title of my blog is inspired from a song called Near Life Experience by Lifehouse. Honestly, I don't really know what this blog would become but I hope that it'll help me keep track and improve my writing skills and as well as my knowledge to grammars. Maybe this might be the start of a new hobby for me.

'Til next time :D