12 - Irky Feelings

"Did you ever hide a real feeling or emotion? When? Why?"

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky.” 

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Stepping into Freedom: Rules of Monastic Practice for Novices

Feelings. They are those nasty little bugs that often come and go only to screw with your heart. They are the pest that invades your mind and seize every part of your thoughts. Feelings are facts without evidences as proof. It's confusing. It gives doubt. It makes everyone crazy at some point. For me, feelings are uncontrollable, but it needs to be restrained sometimes. 

What feelings look like

I may not say it but I do have someone I admire too (or crushes as they put it). It's just that I don't show it because I'm really afraid that admitting it will make that feeling truer than it already is. In my whole life, I've only admitted once to my friends, and it turned out badly. They began teasing me and they started giving hints to that person. Because of that, I stopped admiring the guy.

I don't want to specifically state a time when, but one thing for sure, I have hidden that real feeling because I'd rather feel it for a long time and make it last. Also, I don't want to complicate things by admitting it. For sure, a day will come that it'll fade away too. I think, it's better to be kept as a secret. 

11 - College is Unforgettable

"Describe an unforgettable experience."

Everyone has this special moment. Moments which makes one wish to record and play it over and over again. Those are the precious moments that we treasure every day and will remember until the days we get older. It might be good or bad but we call these moments and experiences the unforgettable ones.

As for me, my most unforgettable experience is being a college student. Specifically, studying at Asia Pacific College and being a part of ABMA123. You see, I originally planned to enroll as an Electronics Engineering Student but because I really love art, I changed my course to Multimedia Arts just before I enrolled. Until now, I never regretted doing so.

I met a lot of great people who share the same interests as mine. These people are my blockmates and professors who have taught me a lot and helped me improve my skills and talents. For me, they are all my mentors while I go through the process of becoming an artist. Because of them, I fell more in love with art.

Right now, my first year at college is coming to an end. I don't know what to expect in the next three years but I do hope that I'll enjoy the days, weeks and months to come as a Multimedia Arts student.